If This Is Wrong, Why Does It Feel So Right?
by NeonDomino
Summary: Sirius Black thought he kept his secret better. First his father finds out that he's gay, and then someone in school starts handing out flyers with the news on. How will his friends react? One-shot for the New Years Battle in the Diagon Alley II Forum. WolfStar.


**New Years Battle - Team: Death Eaters.**

Dialogue Prompts: "Love and loyalty mean more to me than blood", "If this is wrong, why does it feel so right?"

Character Prompts: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Pairings Prompts: Sirius/Remus

Spell Prompts: Crucio, Geminio

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Thanks to:

Lara1221 for betaing this for me.

NightmarePrince for the advice on what spells to use in the Great Hall.

Rayniekinnz for both the help with the Geminio charm (the duplicating charm as used on Bellatrix's vault), and the end scene between Sirius and Remus. She's been my helper elf (her words).

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Sirius Black lay on the floor of his living room, gasping in pain. His father sat in the chair, staring down at him, a glass of firewhisky in hand. Sirius wondered how he had found out.

How had Orion known? Who had told him?

Sirius had been so careful to keep it a secret. He had only picked wizards that had as much to lose as he did. Ones who couldn't let the secret that they liked wizards over witches get out.

But he never thought that his father would go as far as using the Cruciatus Curse on him. He had always seen that his parents were cold and cruel, but never thought it was to that extent that his father would use an unforgivable on him.

As he lay on the floor, the sensation of knives piercing his skin, he wondered if his father was planning on doing this until Sirius' mind broke. Was Orion going to kill him afterwards like the Death Eaters did to their torture victims?

His father may not have chosen his side, but he had proven himself as capable as any Death Eater and Sirius knew if he got out of this alive, his mind intact, he'd never be able to return to his family.

That thought stayed in his mind until his brother called for his father, and diverted Orion's attention for a couple of minutes.

A couple of minutes is all it took for him to struggle to his feet long enough to grab some floo powder. The last thing he saw was his father's face as the man rushed back into the room at the sound of the Floo activating.

He landed in the Potter's Floo, and without even stepping out, he fell to the floor, unconscious, his last memory of how his father's voice hissed the word 'Crucio'.

**...oOo…**

The Potter's asked him about what had happened. They wanted to know what happened, but he didn't tell them the whole truth. Sirius had already lost one family after all - if he told the Potter's, who was to say that he wouldn't lose another family? He couldn't tell anyone. He told them about his parents trying to persuade him to follow Bellatrix's footsteps, and he only told them about his father's plans to marry him off young.

Sirius knew he had to be a lot more careful now. He only had one family left, and that was the one that mattered the most to him. He wasn't going to risk it. He would hold off on any more relationships until after they finished their seventh year at Hogwarts.

**...oOo…**

The first day back was as expected. The welcome feast was as grand as usual, the firsties were all awed at the hall, staring up at the enchanted ceiling. Sirius always liked to look through and see how many muggleborns there were, who were more awed by the magic around them than the ones brought up around it.

It was the next morning where it all went wrong.

It started like any other, though he heard a few extra whispers. He ignored them, instead choosing to work on their first prank with James. Remus was mentioning spells he knew would help and Peter was giving his input. Their team was perfect. James and Sirius would come up with the idea, Remus would know the spells to make it happen and Peter would sweat the small details that the others never considered.

They were so engrossed that none of them noticed the flyer on the table.

"Sirius?" came a girl's voice and he turned to look up at Marlene. He flashed his usual grin at her, hoping she wasn't going to ask him about Hogsmeade again.

"Is this true?" she turned the flyer around and Sirius found he couldn't breath as his eyes moved over the words.

The words that he dreaded people knowing.

_'Sirius Black is Gay.'_

He chuckled. "Course it isn't," he lied. She looked at him doubtfully, but after a minute she nodded, returning to her seat, the flyer placed down on the table in front of Sirius. It was childish, but it had everyone talking and talking was bad.

Very bad.

James reached for the flyer, reading the words before passing it around and Sirius turned back to his food. He was struggling to breathe, but he wasn't going to show his emotions. If he did, they would all know the truth.

Finally Remus handed it back to him, a curious look on his face. As the flyer touched Sirius' hand, more flyers appeared. Sirius dropped the first one, but another one touched his hand and began duplicating at the touch.

He quickly moved away from the table, the small mound of flyers spilling from the table. His eyes fell on his friends before he stormed from the hall.

"Geminio charm," Remus muttered, staring at the pile, before looking towards the doors where Sirius had just walked out.

**...oOo...**

The next morning the flyer was different.

_'Stand up if you've ever had sex with Sirius Black.'_

"Doesn't mean anything if no-one stood up. Just means that they don't want the whole school to know their sexlife," Sirius said, eating his breakfast. He tried to appear like he couldn't care less, but the looks he was getting from almost the entire school was bothering him.

He had attempted to burn the flyers, but any spells on them just caused them to multiply over and over again. There was no way to destroy them.

Sirius was determined that his friends couldn't know the truth. What if they disowned him too?

Day three was a whole other story, one he couldn't talk his way out of. The flyers were there again.

_'If Sirius Black is as straight as he's claiming to be, I'm sure he'll be happy to be asked under Veritaserum?'_

On his usual plate on the Gryffindor table stood a small bottle of clear liquid.

James picked it up and examined the bottle with his wand. "No hexes or anything," he said, passing it to Remus.

Remus pulled the top out, taking a sniff. "Nothing extra mixed in."

"So it's safe to take and tell people the truth," Peter added, taking the bottle from Remus and examining it himself. He pushed the potion into Sirius' hand.

"Don't be silly," James scoffed. "He doesn't need to take it." He held out his hand for the bottle, but Sirius couldn't tear his eyes away from it.

If he drunk it, he'd tell everyone he was gay. If he didn't, the fact that he refused would be enough proof for everyone to come to the conclusion that he was.

Either way he was screwed.

He sat there frozen, potion clenched in his hand, thinking of a way out. He would worry about who had done this later, although this ruled out any of his exes. They wouldn't risk their names being brought into this should anyone ask him who he had been with.

"Sirius," came a whisper from next to him and he met concerned amber eyes. "You..." Remus' eyes flashed with understanding and Remus slipped under the table for a second.

"What are you doing?" James asked, as Remus climbed back into his seat, James' cloak in his hand. His eyes moved back to Sirius for a moment before he raised his wand.

"_Bombarda,_" he muttered, and a loud explosion on the other side of the hall made all their heads turn in that direction. "_Obscura caligo._"

Sirius watched the fog appear around them, before James' cloak was thrown over him and Remus hissed in his ear for Sirius to follow him from the hall.

Sirius knew that this was the same as not taking the potion - skipping out on it would lead people to believe that it was true, but at least he wouldn't have to face everyone.

Remus walked calmly across the hall, pulling the door open and they left, unnoticed.

"Room of Requirement?" Remus asked.

"Aren't you going to lessons?" Sirius whispered.

"You're more important. I'll only be missing a few, and I can get notes from Lily later," Remus said, heading towards the staircase that would take them to the hall.

**...oOo...**

Remus watched as Sirius paced the hallway, looking for a room where he and Remus could talk in privacy and could hide in for the day.

A nice room, similar to the Gryffindor Common Room appeared.

"Stay here, I'll go to the kitchens." Remus hesitated. "If it is true, it makes no difference to me, Sirius."

Sirius sat in silence, allowing Remus to slip out with the cloak.

**...oOo…**

Remus rushed down to the kitchen, his heart pounding. He stopped at the pear, tickling it to gain access and asked the helpful house-elves for some breakfast.

Usually he didn't want to inconvenience them any more than usual, but this was important.

He headed back upstairs with the food, finding Sirius in the same position as before, the vial in his hand.

The tray was put on the table, and the pair slowly ate.

"Talk to me, Padfoot," Remus finally said. He had given Sirius time to get his thoughts in order.

Sirius sighed, before meeting Remus' eyes. "What if it...you'd truly be my friend?"

"Why don't I share another secret of mine first, then you won't feel so strange sharing yours?" Remus suggested.

Sirius gave a half-nod.

"Sirius, I'm gay," Remus said. "Well, bisexual. No-one knows... except my parents. No-one at school knows, just Benjy Fenwick. We kinda secretly went out for a while. It didn't work out."

Sirius looked at him in shock.

"You?" he asked. "But you're the... out of everyone I expected to be... bloody hell." Sirius found himself lost for words, and his lips slowly curved into a smile. He had a small crush on his friend before, but had never considered that Remus would be interested in another man.

"Remus, I'm gay," he said, his voice shaking. "All the rumours about me and girls are crap. My last relationship was with Lucius Malfoy."

Remus stared at him. "Lucius - but he's..."

"Engaged to my cousin? A future Death Eater?" Sirius said helpfully.

Remus nodded.

"Yeah, I called it off the moment their engagement was announced," Sirius said. "He became a Death Eater afterwards."

"Is..." Remus began.

"What?"

"Is his hair as soft as it looks?" Remus whispered, causing Sirius to let out a booming laugh.

"That's your question? Well, its not as soft as mine, though it looks softer. He does have good hair."

Remus' hand hesitantly moved towards Sirius', and gently ran through it.

"That is soft," he murmured, pulling his hand away. "So, you were very secretive for why your parents almost killed you..."

"They found out," Sirius said, simply. "I know that they still planned to marry me off to a pure-blood despite everything, but I wasn't having any of it. They said that this is all wrong, but isn't marrying a witch wrong - to tie a witch to me when I'm gay? Also, why would I marry someone I don't love?"

"I'm sorry it happened," Remus said, shifting closer to his friend. "You're an amazing person, Sirius. Your sexuality shouldn't make a difference to how people see you, and your family should be there for you no matter what."

"The Marauders are my family now. Blood means nothing." Sirius whispered, his eyes meeting Remus' amber eyes. "Love and loyalty mean more to me than blood."

Sirius leaned forward and buried his face into Remus' neck. "I don't care what they say...I don't care about them."

Remus said nothing, merely wrapping his arms around his shoulders and squeezing.

Sirius laughed mockingly, voice muffled, though this was probably good as it disguised the hitch in his throat. "If this is wrong, why does it feel so right?"

Remus' heart sped up at the words and Sirius pulled back in a panic.

"I didn't mean... I just mean... with a guy, and you're a guy, but not specifically you." He took a shaky breathe, scared that he had crossed a line. Maybe Remus didn't feel anything for him but friendship. All Sirius knew was that having Remus' arms around him felt more right than anyone else.

"I understand," Remus whispered, leaning forward. He watched Sirius' eyes dart to his lips, and finally flutter closed when Remus' lips brushed against his.

Remus didn't know what made him brave enough to kiss Sirius Black, but Sirius met his lips eagerly, deepening the kiss and it was perfect.

As Remus held Sirius in his arms, the door opened and the other Marauders stepped in.

"So is it true?" James asked.

Sirius nodded his head, looking at the other two warily.

"Oh. Could have told us sooner, we've been trying to find someone to set Moony up with for ages."

"You knew?" Remus and Sirius both asked in shock.

"It was pretty obvious," Peter stated.

"Yeah, why do you think we always got Sirius to ask you for help? You're useless around him, can't turn him down anything. I'm guessing by the state of your hair, you've been snogging?" James said, his eyes flicking up to Remus' usually tidy hair.

Sirius seemed to liven up at his friends acceptance, and nodded, grinning happily at them. "As long as you don't mind, I think me and Moony are…"

"Together," Remus suggested.

"Yeah… Yeah, I like that. Me and Remus are together," Sirius said, forgetting his no dating until after Hogwarts rule. He could trust Remus with his secret, even though it wasn't really a secret anymore.

"Good, I'm happy for you both," James said, smiling at his friends. "Now, Lily was very concerned about you. If we play this right, you could get me a date with her."

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**Review Please :)**

**2304 words**

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**The Lucius' hair bit was added for Rayne. You know you love it!**


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